MY DOG TOY

Toy was an incredibly handsome Doberman Pinscher. Slim and muscular with Dorito-shaped ears. We called him “The Nut Dog” because he was out of his friggen mind! He was hyperactive, excited, and thrilled to be alive!

Four years ago, after we put down our beautiful dobie-shepherd girl, we missed not having a dog around. So we started to look into rescue shelters. Although a few months had passed and we had purchased 2 little furry ball guinea pigs that we immediately fell in love with, we craved the feeling of having a dog. Eventually, my daughter and I made the 2 hour plus drive to the dobie rescue shelter “just to look.”

Riding past avocado, orange, and lemon orchards, we arrived at the rescue home of at least 50-60 dogs. Lovingly cared for by one woman and local volunteers, my daughter and I must have pet every dog a couple of times. Finally, after an hour or so of visiting with different dogs, we couldn’t resist, and chose “our guy”. He was hot (it was over 100 degrees), bone thin, and smelly. But he gave us this look while laying on his cot that said “I’d get up again to see you but I don’t think I can take it. Please take me home with you.” So we did. It was a done deal.

When we got home, I washed him in our backyard, and we all looked at him as a new member of our family. We named him Toy, after the black dog I had as a child. I had a feeling that he reincarnated and came back to me. I even used to close my eyes and see his image around this new dog. Either way, this Toy brought me a new sense of joy. That night, he slept next to me on the floor in his fresh bed. This was where my other dog used to lie. My husband kissed me goodnight and whispered “you got your dog,” knowing I was happy to love again.

I had never had a rescue dog before and I naively thought that all I ever had to do was just feed and love him and then everything would be fine. Wrong. Like puppies, you have to train then, give them boundaries and a job, and a become pack leader. Duh. I thought I could put my feet up and relax. But like kids, they test you with poop, barking, opposition, and independence. So we worked with our marvelous trainer, both privately and with classes, and soon Toy became the family pet.

Everywhere we went, people would stop their cars and comment on his majestic beauty. It seemed everyone had a dobie love story to share. Even when we moved to a new house, our neighbors came over to welcome our dog to the neighborhood before us! Toy was a popular guy!

My shins were always bruised. That’s because he’d do abut a 1,000 spins just to go out and chase a squirrel. And it took me about a year to be able to kiss him on his head without getting knocked out. In a way, I was glad he was more active than our previous dog. He got us out, climbing hills, and exploring new neighborhoods for hours.

He became a little more relaxed through the years, and I treasured the way he put his head on my leg to be stroked and loved. It seemed like I always had my hand on his head and shoulders.

He was predictably happy and made us laugh. He was enthused to start the day, and would poke his nose on my arm as if to say “Hey, let’s go! It’s anew day!” The kids liked the way I would speak for him and say in a goofy surf-dude voice, “ Uh, my name is Toy, I am a boy, and I’m full of joy!” Again, he’d do 1,000 circles and want to play.

Then one day he stopped in the middle of playing tug-of-war with me to walk away and lie down. Soon he began to look for places to hide. This was very out of character. He started digging, ignoring us, then staring… quietly seizing. It wouldn't be all the time. He would snap back to being our frisky boy. But these things happened more and more frequently. He wasn’t the same. And I knew it. I grieved the inevitable, recognizing this path I had taken so many times before. I knew it was his time to go home. Toy passed on May 13, 2009, after one last walk around the block.

God, we love our pets, and it’s true they make us better souls. They are truly our heavenly messengers. They show us how to experience a rich and unconditional love. We are better for having had such experiences, if only to touch the wings of angels.

I miss Toy. We had him for only 4 years. But everyday was special because of him. For this, I am grateful. And I will always treasure him—forever.

Weight No More! A Hormonal Story

As far as I’m concerned, losing weight has always been the hardest thing to do —until now! I am currently on the hCG diet and have already lost close to 18 lbs in 2 weeks! I never could have imagined that this would be happen for me. I always thought that I would just carry all my baby weight with me for years-- (she’s 11 now. Not exactly a baby. But still…) Yet, what makes this so incredible for me is that weight loss was not my primary goal—feeling better was.

You see, I’ve been riding the great hurricane hormonal waves for almost 10 years now. Even though I’ve been using naturally compounded progesterone, estrogen, and testosterone on a regular basis, I still have a thyroid imbalance, hypoglycemia, insomnia, and a digestion system that has literally been on strike for years. (Wow! How fun!)

I also suffer—I mean really suffer—from fibromyalgia. Even though I am an optimistic person, spiritual, and clairvoyant, I still can get so dragged down by not being able to function without pain. All I can do is pray; take it one day at a time, and just surrender.

A year ago I had a frozen shoulder for over 8 months. That was so incredibly painful, on so many layers, it’s a miracle that I’m typing and swimming and functioning normally again.

However recently, my metabolism had literally shut down. I was juicing greens everyday, taking jillions of vitamins and supplements, walking and going to gym when I had energy, avoiding sugar and carbs, but still, couldn’t get in the game. Every part of my body hurt. I was hungry, faint, and weak every few hours. My feet hurt when I walked and they were so swollen with fluid. Finally, after a few nights of painful fibromyalgia and saying about 100 times “Dear God help me,” I sat with my marvelous alternative doctor and said “I friggen give up.” I already paid my dues the year before with pain, and did not want to live a limited existence.

She suggested this diet, primarily because it is a compounded hormone that regulates the brain, balances out all the other systems, and suppresses the appetite. And it targets all that stubborn belly fat!
She said that by losing the weight, my metabolism will re-establish itself, my glucose levels will stabilize, and many of my garden variety “can’t function in life” symptoms will dissipate.

So I’m happy to say that it’s working. I’ve lost close to 20 lbs in just a few weeks plus I feel centered, calm, and hopeful. Although I have not completely conquered all the fibromyalgia pain (it seems to strike between 3-5 am—hot, burning muscles,) it is getting better. But it’s during the day when I feel so different. Instead of needing to sleep mid-day, I feel in control and proactive. I don’t feel jittery—this isn’t one of those “Hoodia” energy booster type diets—I can’t stand that feeling. With this hCG, I feel delicate and deliberate. I don’t feel weak, but I don’t over extend myself either. I stroll with my dog rather than power walk with him. I carefully weigh my whitefish for the day; eat lots of spinach, greens, shrimp and strawberries. (I kind of overdid the apple cider vinegar on salads and got sores on my tongue, so I’ve switched to alternative greens like cucumber and celery.)

The diet is very exact. You take 5 sublingual drops am and pm, 500 calories a day, lots of water, and 100mg of fish or skinned chicken twice a day. Oh yes, and 2 breadsticks or Melba toasts too!

The thing is you don’t really feel hungry. So you can control your eating. I do miss eating some things, especially while walking through the mall with my daughter. But it’s funny. It’s more of an emotional thing—I just want to eat it to enjoy it, not because I’m hungry. (It really exposes how we habitually eat!)

This is a closely monitored medical program. My glucose levels and heart rate are checked continually. So is my weight loss.
But overall, I feel that this is an answered prayer—to be free of pain, exhaustion, and sluggish digestion. And I can’t wait for my daughter to see me slim again—it will be a first for her.

Stay tuned for more updates!

My Personal Physician: Ester Mark M.D.